I know i’m broken, but you can’t fix it okay?

Here’s the thing:  I don’t seem to get cold like regular people.  Everyone else is bundled up like Eskimos and i’m wandering around in a tank top covered in sweat.  I am assuming that this is because i’m covered in a beautiful, whale-like layer of blubber, but it could possibly be that i’m just messed up.

I don’t mind running hot.  It cuts down on my need for sweaters, and i rarely lose gloves because i never wear them.  When everyone else wears 20 extra layers, and i’m in my usual one, i only look a little bit fatter than everyone else!  (Okay, this part isn’t actually true, but it totally makes me feel better, so go along with me, allrighty?)

You know what i do mind though?  I mind everyone who sees me wandering around in my tank top stopping to ask me ‘Are you cold?’  As in, ‘Hey dummy, are you too stupid to put on a jacket?’

Look people, if i were cold, i’d wear a jacket.  It’s pretty simple.  Do i look that stupid?  I guess i do.   And i usually smile sweetly, and say ‘I don’t really get cold’ and everyone looks at me disbelievingly, because obviously i’m just making this up to annoy strangers on the street.

So i’ve decided to change it up a bit.  When people ask me if i’m cold i’m going to stop dead and stare at them.  ‘Is THAT what this sensation is called?  HOLY CRAP, I didn’t know!  I guess i AM… what’s that word that you just used?  Cold?  I am!  Help!  What do i do about it?’

At least this way, they’ll be distracted enough to stop asking if i’m cold, and start asking if i’m crazy.  And then i’ll be all ‘Hey, i’m not the one going around quizzing random strangers on their perceived body temperature.  Who’s crazy now, bitch?!?’